Editorial note: I've redacted the entirety of this actual entry as it was originally written. At the time, I was still reeling from the end of a catastrophically abusive relationship, and parsing through the feelings and confusion from slowly beginning to realize that it was not the wonderful experience I'd made it out to be in my head. As often happens with recovery from abuse, time has brought a clarity to my mind that makes this entry almost feel like it was written by someone else - it is that out of place in my archives.
However, I did want to come back here (today is Friday, September 3rd, 2021 as I post this) and mention that the entry did in fact exist. I no longer feel the need to hide that I wrote this, even if the words themselves are so painfully distorted as to not merit publication.
I have learned so much - and healed so much - since this was written. There is hope.
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